Best of the Worst #2

Counting down to #1 on my "Best of the Worst" list of country song titles. Today, last year's winner must settle for a silver medal. Tomorrow: the Big Reveal of numero uno.

#2 – Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

#3 – Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You, by the Austin Lounge Lizards
#4 – I’m So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here
#5 – How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
#6 – I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing
#7 – Just Bought a Car From the Guy that Stole My Girl, But the Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got an Even Deal
#8 – Got In At Two With a Ten, And Woke Up At Ten With a Two (by Willie Nelson)
#9 – I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
#10 – If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
#11 – My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend (And I Sure Do Miss Him)
#12 – If the Jukebox Took Teardrops (I’d Cry All Night Long)
#13 – You Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat) - written by Mason Williams of "Classical Gas" fame, recorded by John Denver & others
#14 – If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
#15 – My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (by Cletus T. Judd – a parody of Kenny Chesney's “She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy”)
#16 – You Put My Heart in an Old Tin Can and Shot it off a Stump
#17 – If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
#18 – We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips but Now It's All Over
#19 – Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
#20 – It Ain't Easy Being Easy (by Roseanne Cash)
#21 – I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me
#22 – Looks Like I’ll Be Drinking Christmas Dinner Alone Again This Year
#23 – I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
#24 – She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
#25 – Your Wife’s Cheating On Us Again
#26 – If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart
#27 - You Stuck my Heart in an Old Tin Can and Shot it off a Stump
#28 – Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer (by Johnny Russell)
#29 – Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
#30 – The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend (by Rodney Carrington)
#31 – You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'

A photo of sun, snow and some cottonwoods - by my Kalispell friend Sue Haugan.